(my fault?) maybe...

i kinda need to prove this to myself more than anybody but yeah i need to say it and get it off my shoulders...

i do NOT care about Will Kilgore.
i did... not anymore.
we aren't even friends anymore really.
he hardly talks to me.
and that doesn't bother me in the least.

i just still hurt about some of the things he did and said to me.
he makes me feel the way i do about myself.
he makes me scared of guys.
HE is the one who ruined me...

at times i try to forget all about him and be free.
i wanna think im pretty and fun and friendly and easy going and care free..
but then i just CANT...

i absolutely hate him for this!
i hate myself because of him!
His lies, his fake promises, and everything he broke between us is his fault but somehow he always makes it seem like mine.

it sucks but it's how it is. i wanna forget him but then everytime i screw omething up between me and michael all i think about is how he did the same.
how michael could be the same... it hurts me

but then... michael isn't the same...
he is far from being anything like will.
maybe im the one who is like will...
maybe im the crappy person in a relationship.
maybe everything was and is my fault.