life as we know it

it's been a long long time.... me and michael lasted a year and 7 months.
at times i miss him...well only when i see him sometimes.
but im glad it ended. it needed to.

im currently dating a guy named Victor at my church. He is great. i have known him since i was 9. he makes me happy. like really happy. we havent fought one time.
me and michael fought a lot.

my brother is in the army now. he broke his foot though so he is coming home today for 25 days to let it heal.
my sister leaves for college in january. BYUI.
Victor is going with her. I should be following within a year. :)

i miss my old friends. well kinda.
t is here visiting for the summer. she's different. idk

...

so things are bad.
hey it's life

michael might not be able to go to woodland anymore.
he moved out of the school disrict and they didn't accept his transfer.
:(

but he is number ten of our class and in three clubs

i know i will fail math and physics if he isn't there to help me and most likely we won't last.

we will only be able to see each other on the weekends and i know his mom wont let him spend every weekend with me. so.... :(
he'll find a beautiful girl at stockbridge that he can see everyday. like we used to.

fml.

ahhhh summer

i miss my love.
i want it to come home to me

must all my summers feel this way.
a whole month and a half without seeing him.

i feel as if my heart will melt

almost done though yayayayayayayay

got my car. been driving a lot.
i love it

my fun summer is soon to be happening!

really should get started on my summer work though

yeah life. aint it good

hey so....
im hapy :)
i got my knight in shining armor back.

yeah roadds get rough
but eventually the rain will stop pouring

michael is currently remaining in california and miss the crap out of him :P

i think my past is catching up with me now though
i dont know what i want
he was suppose to stay in my past.
forget it its stupid

I love my michael!
i cannot wait for him to come home but i won't see him that day or the next.
i dont think his mom wants me too :(

but july 11th i am suppose to attend his uncles wedding so i will see him then :)

current status:[[missing his hugs and kisses]]

is today one year????

well we got back together a week ago....

today i suppose to be our one year.
i dont know if it still is

i mean when most couples take a break, after it is over and they are back together they go on with their relationship as if the break never happened.

but michael said we are starting all over...
i dont know what that means.
like so our one month will be on the 9th now
wtf
we've been going out for 355 days now not a week and a day...

but today was suppose to be an amazing day i just dont know if it's ours. :(
i want it to be

but i cant push him anymore. whatever happens happens
and i cant complain cuz he'll think im sad and he hates when im sad


...it's kinda weird cuz when we weren't going out he would be so sweet and flirty to me and then we started going back out and it's all like a routine again.
like he's more my boyfriend when he's not
or he is more into me when im not his.

but i love him
and we're back together and thats what i wanted so who am i to ask for more than that.....

5-17-08??? still ours???

5-17-08 to 4-28-09 FML

yeah... it's true
i lost the best thing in my life
we is my world but now its over.

i just want to get back together already.....
why dont we? you said you still love me just not the same
you say you like me
you say sometimes you wish we wouldn't have broken up
but we still are apart

i hate it so much
i miss you so bad
i love you so much

i just want to be back in your arms
i wanna feel special
i wanna be loved
i want MY michael

........fml.........

i need you
my stomach hurts so bad
i miss everything we had
:'( i suck so much

how could i let this happen
i am a horrible person the worst person
beware everyone....
STAY AWAY

im an idiot
i wish everything was different
but i cant change it

im in love with my best friend
and all i want is to be with him again
FML (FUCK MY LIFE)

spring break sucks :(

It hurts so bad i want to scream.
I dreamed that we were at school Monday at our lockers and you held me extra long to make it stop hurting and also for i would feel better because i was upset that you didn't come see me all week.

i miss you

I contemplated sneaking out again only because I knew that if i just saw you it would help, but then I knew that you wouldn't want me to.

half the time I'm mad. Mad that youonly text me late at night when you are about to fall asleep, and that you can't find even an hour to come see me.
And the other half of my time I'm sad. Sad that I miss you. Sad that my stomach hurts so bad. Sad that i never get those random sweet texts anymore like :"hey beautiful i just wanted to tell you i miss you and i love you. I will talk to you as soon as i can." Sad that i lay in my bed at night crying because my stomach hurts like Hell. Crying also because I know it will be a good 24 hours before I see you again. The pain is almost unbarable anymore.

I need you. Can't you see that?
I cannot wait to see you Monday.
-only i know Monday will be like anyother day and you won't say anything about this week and how horrible it was for you to not see me. Thats okay though...I understand?
I love the crap out of you baby!

one week from today is our 11 months. Im pretty excited.

Your moving next week babe. So i guess you not coming with me this saturday then?
Oh well I will go alone. I wish i could come help you move but I have to go because I said i would. I'll miss you.
I wonder when the next time you will come to my house will be. You know you haven't come over since February.

I love you.
so much