so i know sometimes i get in that mood where i feel like everything goes wrong. who doesnt sometimes?
all i know is that everytime that hppens he's always there.
by my side.
protecting me from the cruel world we live in.
i love him.
you know that saying "if you can't handle me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best" ? well let me tell you... he's there.
he's seen me at my worst, my best, my happiest, and my saddest.
no matter what happens he is ALWAYS there. helping me through it.
oh dear God how i love him.
and oh how he loves me too.
i told him... everything.
and he didnt run. why didnt he run?
they would have. the ones from my past.
how glad am i that he didnt run.
he is unlike anyother i've ever known.
i never want to know another heart the way i know his.
♥
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
? TABS ?
so...
have you ever felt that your boyfriend is ashamed of you?
i have. i think im being stupid though. he's not a bad boyfriend. he's the best boyfriend iv'e ever had and i couldnt or wouldnt ask for anyone else.
sometimes i just get the feeling that maybe he doesnt like me as much as i thought or want.
ex: i wont tell everyone what it means cuz its special to me but i gave him my tab today. and never got my kiss. :(
he wont kiss me, or hug me after 5th period or right before 6th. after soccer he hugged me goodbye but then i still got no kiss. He knew i was already upset but didnt try to make me happier like usual. I wonder if it's cuz there were people behind us and he didnt want them to see. :(
i wanna be with him. i REALLY want to be with him. if i didnt i could have left him when he liked her. :' ( oh god, i've done it now. i just hurt myself again. everytime i think about that day it kills me. i didnt eat, i didnt sleep, i had no medicine and i got what i asked for.
paramedics surrounding my body and ,me unconcious.
where was he? i dont know. just not there. with me.
My body cannot stand to be without him. it hurts so bad, i can hardly breath sometimes. the pain in my stomach overtakes me, i get so weak, and then everything goes black.
I LOVE HIM SO SO SO SO SO MUCH. he makes me smile. and he knows me so well. he see's through the mask that i constantly wear. if i say im fine he knows im lying. how? i dont know. nobody else does. he just KNOWS.
my boyfriend is amazing and i love him with every single bit of my heart.
i'll never leave him even when he hurts me. i never left him and i never will. i hope he sees it this way too. i want him to love me.
i know he does. i just wish he would show me that he does.
not show me like being alone show me, but SHOW me. by the little things he does. alone and in public. just to be mine and not hide it. i want him to be proud to be my boyfriend. =/
have you ever felt that your boyfriend is ashamed of you?
i have. i think im being stupid though. he's not a bad boyfriend. he's the best boyfriend iv'e ever had and i couldnt or wouldnt ask for anyone else.
sometimes i just get the feeling that maybe he doesnt like me as much as i thought or want.
ex: i wont tell everyone what it means cuz its special to me but i gave him my tab today. and never got my kiss. :(
he wont kiss me, or hug me after 5th period or right before 6th. after soccer he hugged me goodbye but then i still got no kiss. He knew i was already upset but didnt try to make me happier like usual. I wonder if it's cuz there were people behind us and he didnt want them to see. :(
i wanna be with him. i REALLY want to be with him. if i didnt i could have left him when he liked her. :' ( oh god, i've done it now. i just hurt myself again. everytime i think about that day it kills me. i didnt eat, i didnt sleep, i had no medicine and i got what i asked for.
paramedics surrounding my body and ,me unconcious.
where was he? i dont know. just not there. with me.
My body cannot stand to be without him. it hurts so bad, i can hardly breath sometimes. the pain in my stomach overtakes me, i get so weak, and then everything goes black.
I LOVE HIM SO SO SO SO SO MUCH. he makes me smile. and he knows me so well. he see's through the mask that i constantly wear. if i say im fine he knows im lying. how? i dont know. nobody else does. he just KNOWS.
my boyfriend is amazing and i love him with every single bit of my heart.
i'll never leave him even when he hurts me. i never left him and i never will. i hope he sees it this way too. i want him to love me.
i know he does. i just wish he would show me that he does.
not show me like being alone show me, but SHOW me. by the little things he does. alone and in public. just to be mine and not hide it. i want him to be proud to be my boyfriend. =/
on one note
you ever get those days when you feel that you're just not good enough?
today's that day... =/
so many times i've been told otherwise but i cannot stop believing that michaek's mom doesnt like me.
today: she said she was picking michael up for soccer. i ussually take him home. so i think okay whatever thats fine.
then as soccer begins i text her that we get out at 6:15.
she says to me "does michael want me to pick him up?"
me: "u told him you were so i guess. but if you can't then we can take him. it's up to you."
her: "ill be there"
i know i couldnt hear her but that doesnt sound to me like she likes me.
ugh. guess it's just my head again. sometimes i think im being stupid. i want for her to like me so bad i'll do anything.
and then i feel that no matter what i do, it won't help. i screwed up, and i can't change how she feels about me. :(
today's that day... =/
so many times i've been told otherwise but i cannot stop believing that michaek's mom doesnt like me.
today: she said she was picking michael up for soccer. i ussually take him home. so i think okay whatever thats fine.
then as soccer begins i text her that we get out at 6:15.
she says to me "does michael want me to pick him up?"
me: "u told him you were so i guess. but if you can't then we can take him. it's up to you."
her: "ill be there"
i know i couldnt hear her but that doesnt sound to me like she likes me.
ugh. guess it's just my head again. sometimes i think im being stupid. i want for her to like me so bad i'll do anything.
and then i feel that no matter what i do, it won't help. i screwed up, and i can't change how she feels about me. :(
Sunday, January 4, 2009
tampa trip
it was great. i had a lot of fun.
busch gardens was awesome yeah i admit at first i was afraid to ride some of the rollercaosters but i did it.
i rode every single one of them and it was terrific!
sheikra was awesome!
new years was awesome!
i got kissed under fireworks!!!
MICHAEL IS GREAT!
i love my christmas present he got me! its so cute!
um so i really think im going to fail chemistry this year :(
that sucks
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
