the worst weekend :(

ever feel like nobody cares about you?

yeah it sucks when someone you want to talk to just ignores you doesn't it.

sadest thing is i know tomorrow at school i'll have to act like my weekend was fine and nothing bothered me. all the while inside i'll be so mad that i got blown off all weekend.

all weekend and not a single word. not until midnight saturday niht a whispering 20 second long goodnight. guess that's all im worth.
oh well

since then still no word. no call. nothing im just sitting here with this stupid pain in my stomach that i hate so much. i should probably go back to the doctor.

and you can't say that you had no time to call me b/c i know you did. i heard you over the phone when i was talking to your mom. ten minutes no not even that. 5 minutes is all it takes just 5 minutes to say hey i miss you and i love you.

but i don't even get that. i get 20 seconds of whispering that i could barely understand. :'(
i guess this is how every weekend is going to be now so i should just get used to feeling that nobody cares about me. oh well thats life right.
everybody's heart has to be broken sometime. lest mine has been broken once before so i know what it feels like.

is that what's going to happen now? it seems like it i guess. maybe i should start preparing. start not caring how much it hurts for you to sit there and ignore me so that when you find that not talking to me doesn't bother you and you just don't care and leave me, then maybe it won't hurt so bad.

but i can't love you less. it hurts too bad already. i love you too much and i'll never leave. i just wish you cared about how much i love you. i wish you could see that i can't live without you.
i wish you felt the same way for me that i feel for you.
:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

and i can't wait to see you tomorrow. eventhough most would be so mad at you all i want is to hug you and be in your arms. :'(
and if you really don't love me anymore then please just tell me what's wrong with me and I'll fix it i promise. i can change i can be a better girl for you. I'll do anything just please love me.

♥

i love you michael nathaniel diaz!
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

that is all i have to say!
you make me SO happy! :D i can't help but smile when i look at you!

MWAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i know i usually only talk to people or complain to people about the bad things.
like when me and Fabi talk it's usually what last michael did that i didn't like.

but all the bad things are so far outnumbered by the good.
he is an amazing boyfriend.

yeah sometimes it does bother me when he won't hold me when im with him like i see a lot of other poeple doing. cuz they look so happy.
but i guess i don't need that to be happy with him. i love him.
his presense is all i need.

it bothers me when people ask if we have ever kissed or anything cuz they've never seen.
idk. i never notice until they say something cuz we do all the time. just not in public i guess.

but yesterday was amazing.
on the way home from the game, he held me so close and kissed me :)

i love when he kisses my head. like if he is holding me and then he will kiss my hair or somrthing it feels so good. he is so sweet! :D ♥

i love him. next tuesday=10 months!
your the best baby!
mwah!

Lloro por ti

Soñando que lo nuestro tiene algún remedio

Lloro por ti

Porque no dejo de pensar cuánto te quiero


te amo meeko!

the path has changed

so i know i talk about a certain someone perhaps more than necessary as if that's all i have in life.
he's just the most important person in it :)
so sorry i talk so much about him. haha

so many people would say that i am giving up an "amazing thing" or whatever but im not going to do band this coming year.

i just don't like it :( im not happy in it
it's so pointless to play the same thing everyday over and over for months and months for one concert that only our parents come to watch.

im not even going to use band sfter i graduate.
it is a waste of my time.
i should be doing something else to help me get to what i want to do when i graduate.



i want to do something along the lines of global economics or international affairs and spanish.
yeah yeah i know "oh you just wanna do it cuz you have a mexican boyfriend"
but it's not that.

i love spanish. it is so amazing being able to talk in another language and communicate with people.

and i like being at the top of my class in something.
yeah i may not be able to speak perfect spanish but i can understand it well and im learning.

dinner with the dad

HE LIKES ME! IHE REALLY LIKES ME!

so michael's dad is like so cool.
at first he didn't say much so i was like "okay awqward"
but we went out to dinner last m=night and he was so great.

i had a blast.
then he invited me back to their house and we played videogames until 11 when sadly i had to go home.

but it was awesome!

Meet the Diaz's

so today was interesting.
michael's dad is in GA and i met him.
...when michael left me with him........ ah!

so im looking at this guy and he seems pretty cool.
reminds me a lot of michael :)

but something wasn't right.

earlier jacob was sitting with michael's parents while me and michael were at soccer.
Jacob text me and told me that his dad brought up the subject of last summer and all it's "insanity" *coughcough*
that stinks.
i mean yeah it's the only real memeory that this guy has of me and sadly it isn't good. it's horrible actually.

so im standing there and trying to read his eyes the way i can read michael's. I felt like that was all he was thinking the whole time.
luckily he spoke first so i wasn't too anxoius to get the awqward night over with.
he was geniunely nice.

manuel:"hello how are you?"
sarah:"hey im pretty good and you"
manuel:"good thanks"

-end of conversation-
hahahahahahahahahahahaha :)
this makes me laugh.

but im still unsure as to whether he likes me or not.
i mean i can tell he doesn't not like me but im not sure if he could forget about last summer. :( guess thats my own fault. over the summer i went through a major lap of stupidity. haha

oh well the past is the past.

overall= good day...i think i guess i'll find out whenever michael text me and tells me what his dad thinks for real. :)