"better"

i sit....
i think...
of him......
i smile and sometimes cry..
Im NOT good enough. i never will be. i want to be...
im not pretty...
not like them....
i fight.. myself mostly..
defeat those thoughts and they won't be true right?...
they ALWAYS win...

i want to be the girl that he looks at his friends and smiles saying "that's her"
but why would i be?...
im nothing special...
maybe one day i will be...
i just need to try harder...
i have to be better than a 5. NEED to be.
I LOVE HIM!!!!!
with all my heart...
a whole lot more than he could ever love me.
i know....
i've never turned my back on him... evr.
i never will...
ill always love him no matter what.

I just wish i was... better... in every aspect of the word. just "better"
I ABSOLUTELY 100% LOVE WITH ALL MY HEART MICHAEL DIAZ.
that isn't going to change...